That Other Language

Reflecting on La Belle Province and that time we almost lost it.

Spring is a good time to consider taking advantage of all that our French-Canadian cousins have to offer.

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Media personality Connie Smith recently returned from a vacation in Quebec City for the annual Carnaval de Quebec, and reminds us Le Belle Province has much to offer the rest of Canada. - The Canadian Press file photo

As we say goodbye, finally, to winter, Connie Smith reflects on a chilling chapter in Canada's history after a visit to Quebec City for the annual Carnaval de Quebec, one of the largest and most celebrated winter festivals in the world.

We were once referred to as TROC … The Rest Of Canada. During those sovereignty debates, sign law controversies and that ever-so-close referendum, the province of Quebec came so perilously close to saying "au revoir" to TROC.

It was a historic period in Canadian history during the eighties and nineties with premiers Rene Levesque then Jacques Parizeau leading the separatist movement. I was a young TV news reporter covering the stories from the Hamilton and southern Ontario perspective: interviewing members of the local French community, authors, history and language scholars and, of course, politicians.

In addition to the daily news, I worked as a correspondent for a weekly public affairs program called, "One Canada," dedicated entirely to the national unity debate and specifically, to try to keep the country together. I also hosted and produced sovereignty debates and citizen forums, where TROC and francophones shared space on-air and eventually, in friendship.

As journalists, we remain objective professionally and publicly, exploring all sides of a story equally and as a result, it sometimes becomes difficult to even form personal opinions. All I knew and felt was the knowledge that something profound was about to happen between "les deux solitudes." The country had become so polarized (is it becoming so again over a different issue?). Many people in TROC bristled at the bilingual signs and the sound of the French language in PA systems and during flights. It was "us versus them."

Joni Mitchell sang about it in a song: "You don't know what you've got till it's gone." Thankfully, TROC figured that out in time during the 1995 Quebec independence referendum. Canadians by the car and busload, including schoolchildren, flooded into the Quebec capital in a show of national fervour and flag-waving seldom seen in modern history, outside a sports arena, imploring Quebecers to just say "non" to separation. It was an emotionally-charged time.

We filed our stories, went "live' from various locations, gathering the thoughts of ordinary citizens and legions of pundits. We held our collective breath as those votes were counted and even the most "just-let-them-go" among us let out a sigh of relief, if not outright cheer when the move to move out was defeated by 50.58 per cent.

Life got back to normal. Quebec worked hard to enshrine the French heritage into the Canadian identity while some in TROC still tended to complain about official bilingualism but the stories about national unity began disappearing from assignment meetings.

Fast-forward to present day: Carnaval de Quebec in Quebec City, rated as one of the top winter festivals in the world. It was a bucket-list trip to celebrate our wedding anniversary. Aside from some short-stay visits to "La Belle Province" for work, I had never visited as a tourist. This would be one of those seminal moments, no longer beholden to the journalistic law of objectivity, when I could, would, form an opinion about something of such significance.

The place is beautiful, from the modern outskirts to the historic city core, where the cobblestone streets and quaint storefront to the magnificent Chateau Frontenac and National Assembly.

The cuisine is second to none in the world, at least the major European cities my husband and I have visited.

The people are warm and welcoming, and boy, from the ice sculptures, to the Caribou (the hot wine drink variety), and the wild and crazy outdoor activities, like canoe races over a semi frozen St. Lawrence River, they know how to enjoy winter! Everyone appreciated my heartfelt and not bad attempts to converse in French and always offered "anglais" with a smile if that made it easier. I loved the sound of our other language and seeing the French-only signs.

The history is stunning, significant and such a visceral part of what it means to be Canadian.

So here's the thing: I now realize, more than ever, just "what we got" and Joni I don't want "it" gone.

My message to TROC, and my wish is for that term to no long have relevance: Go there, soak up the beauty, the food, the people, the history, the language, the uniqueness. Brush up on your high school French.

Encourage your kids to learn it. La Belle Province is wonderful, it is ours and be proud that it is.

OPINION Apr 01, 2019 by Connie Smith - Hamilton Spectator.

6 millimeters and yet so far!

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We strategize about so many things: career moves, financing, making our kids do things and playing chess, something I just can’t get into despite my dad and now my son’s best efforts. But I never had to strategize how to get to the bathroom to wash my hair before....wait yes I did...about 30 years ago.

I slipped and fell at a Christmas party when I became too adventurous with a certain dance step. Some of you reading this blog may remember.

 

I jumped up out of sheer embarrassment hoping to finish the dance with no one noticing until I looked down and saw my misshapen left wrist and I began to faint. A lump of cartilage or calcium or something and a dull ache when it rain reminds me of that night in the hospital emergency department in my black, lacey cocktail dress.

Fast forward.

Sunday morning, breakfast table..."I think I will just top up my cof.....”

I stand up, turn and over I go on that weakened right ankle I sprained so many times before. I inherited my Dad’s weak ankle ligaments. Here I go again.

24 hours later, after hobbling to teach my last class for the semester, we are back at the same Urgent Care Centre we visited two years ago.  Just a sprain then but I needed crutches to MC an outdoor concert with Robbie Lane. Some of you reading this blog may remember that!

 Just in case, we bring those crutches and a pair of baggy pants with us in the car. The doctor says he’s never heard of anyone coming to the hospital so prepared for a broken bone. And sure enough it was broken…it being the 6 millimeters above the tip of my fibula. And yes they still use plaster casts.

Well I got that pendulum swing action down with the crutches. Stairs were a different matter at first. I bummed it. I can lean on things and thanks to years of yoga, I balance on one leg pretty well and hop. A week later after watching videos online, I manage up and down steps.

But it was that old keeping-the-cast-dry-conundrum .

So this brings us to mission: hair wash.

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Garbage bag-check

Masking tape-check

Shower bench that belonged to my dear aunt-check

Hand shower-check

Shampoo, Conditioner-check

Razer ( for my good leg)-check

Body wash while I’m there anyway-check

They say you should do something that scares you every day. I thought I had conquered all: live TV without a script, interviewed prime ministers and movie stars, climbed up blast furnaces in high heels and hidden behind a tree during a stand-off between police and someone holed up with a gun. But here I am facing a 2 1/2 foot gap between the toilet and shower. It might as well have been 2 1/2 miles over burning hot coals. I pendulum swing into the bathroom, settle onto the bench, Dave (my Uber driver and general slave now) in tow with garbage bag and tape. Waterproofing complete;hand shower on!

 I throw back my head and turn to the warm, welcoming water and for a brief few moments I know victory! I am free and euphoric as water cascades over my body....just like Daryl Hannah in the movie, a green garbage bag as my tail, I am....a mermaid! 

***UPDATE:

*The following night I manoeuvre into the bathtub, celebrating with candles and wine! (thanks to my Uber slave).

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**One week later I graduate to an aircast and discover the incredible Iwalk! -to be continued...

Strangers and Mom

So how does someone whose brand is Always Good News, write about the most painful chapter in her life? I learned how today.

I read an article in the newspaper called "Talking to strangers can change your life", by Nadia Bokody of the Washington Post . She tells her own story of how opening up to strangers felt good. and cites studies that have found that talking to strangers can indeed boost your mood and further that others will rate you as more physically attractive.  Well then! I made a point to share this with my  journalism students next class.

Fast-forward a few hours: I met my sisters at the usual Starbucks and the usual table to discuss our dear Mom's estate paperwork. It's been just over four months. Since her passing the three of us pledged to stay close and get together as often as our busy schedules would allow. We talked about our weepy moments and how life has changed so painfully forever.

The next moment startles us out of our sorrow. With our eyes brimming with tears, an older gentleman approaches and says with a smile, "So this is the sisters table!" 

We look at each other like deer in the headlights and say, "Yes  I guess it is." 

"You must have a wonderful mother.", he says.  Stunned, we explain that we lost our Mom in December and yes she was a wonderful mother.

This kind stranger explains, "I watch people you know, and I can tell by your closeness that you loved her very much." About to let those tears go, he then says, "You're lucky because my mother-in-law is evil!" At that, we literally, burst out laughing. 

"Really??"

"Oh yes, she has us all under her thumb", he explains as he gestures with a thumb grinding into the palm of his hand."  "But I take her on" , he adds with a twinkle in his eye. "So you are very lucky to have had such a great Mother."  We all nod in unquestioning agreement.

"Thank you for making us smile", I tell him.  The gentleman returns to his table and joins his friend.  We turn to each other in amazement.  

In an unexpected  moment in time, a stranger appears to us and lifts up our injured, aching spirits.  We finish our paperwork and tea, with a renewed energy and sense of hope for the future knowing we will always carry our beloved mother close to our hearts forever and learn to smile at her memories again. We hug each other and plan to connect for the next get-together and as we leave the coffee shop, I catch that man's eye  and say, "Until next time..."  I hope we see him again but I will never reveal his identity to protect the innocent from the evil mother-in-law.

In memory of Audrey Jessie (Cooper) Smith

Audrey Jessie (Cooper) Smith

December 2017- It is with broken hearts that we announce that our beautiful Mom has left us to be with her angels, predeceased by our Dad, Robert Prahm Smith five years ago this month, leaving behind her cherished daughters and their husbands: Connie and Dave, Claudia and Randy, Barbara and Stewart, adoring grandchildren: Candice and Scott, Chase and Dubi, Calvin, Aiden, Jordan and Sierra and great-grandchildren Chloe and Mia who brought her so much joy. Mom's quiet courage, grace and joyful spirit will inspire us always.Thanks to the kind professional staff at Joseph Brant Hospital and to Dr. Jim Rogers and Susan Rogers for their wonderful care and support. Donations to Joseph Brant Hospital or the Burlington Humane Society would be appreciated in Audrey's memory.

 

MOM- December  15, 2017

When I was five years old, Mom told me she wouldn't be there to meet me after school one day but a neighbour would take me home.  When the bell rang and I went outside, she wasn't there and I started crying.  Even though she told me she wouldn't be there, my heart couldn't accept it. That's how I feel all these decades later. 

Because she has always been there...after school, in the front row for all our speeches, plays, dances and recitals. Mom had after school snacks, picked us up for orthodontist appointments, went to the parent-teacher nights, drove us to work at the Red and White store where Claudia, my friend Terry and I used to work, picked us up, was there to hold my head when I drank beer for the first time at the Casa Carlo next door to the Red and White.

When we were growing up, between work and the military, our Dad was away a lot. So it was Mom and us every Friday night...in our pyjamas and with our pillows, cokes, mars bars and chips settling in for the double fright night feature on channel 7 Buffalo.  It was Mom, the centre of our universe throughout our school years and careers. She'd stay up to make toast and tea if we worked a late night, our biggest supporter, cheerleader and fan. Always there during life's ups and downs, never lecturing, judging, demanding or complaining just showing us the way through her gracious approach to life and its adversities.

Mom was our princess-forever young and beautiful--we remember watching the getting ready ritual for the Princess Ball...her once-a-year ritual for the military gala at Hamilton's HMCS Star, hair, make-up, the tiara and ball gowns. (but then she'd long for the night to be over so she could just come home to us, for we were the centre of her universe too)

She loved pink and sparkles, and warm and soft sweaters. In fact, she had a running gag with Dave teasing her about her sweater collection that was rivaled only by her shoe collection.  (more about love of shopping?)

She never looked her age and never acted her age either.

Mom was smart and a life-long learner. She earned a college certificate in her 50's and when she and our Dad got a computer it was Mom who embraced it; she wanted to keep up.

She was still checking email and Facebook on her ipad days before she left us.

Mom always looked for the good in everyone and the humour in everything. Mom was funny and she loved to laugh! She made up a voice and would pretend it was our dog Bonnie from Bobberlobberville talking, teasing us and we would reply to the dog!  She would make up crazy songs and when our Dad would ramble on saying grace at Christmas a little too long, she would be the first one to start giggling and she'd get us all going. (biggest laugh about the FB photos she inadvertently posted)

She showed such courage and grace throughout her illness, always a smile and a thank you to all the wonderful caregivers at JBH. But that was no surprise because everyone who met Mom loved her.  She was a beautiful, gentle, loving soul.

She had a joyful innocence about her...we'd sit at the cottage and I'd see her peering up...up at the sky, describing shapes of animals she'd see in the clouds...her eyes full of youthful wonder...some believe clouds are messages from angels that they are always with us.

Whenever I see those white fluffy clouds against a brilliant blue sky I will always think of you dear Mom, and know you are with us.